Leeds Business Insights Podcast: Balancing Humor, Gratitude and Appreciation at Work with Tony Kong

Kelsey Cipolla — Tue, 28 Apr 2026 20:55:43 +0000

Leeds Business Insights Podcast: Balancing Humor, Gratitude and Appreciation at Work with Tony Kong Kelsey Cipolla Tue, 04/28/2026 - 14:55

Professor of Organizational Leadership and Information Analytics Dejun “Tony” Kong offers insights into how we can be better versions of ourselves at work.

The Leeds Business Insights podcast is back for another season! Join new host Claire Stewart, executive director of engagement, marketing and communications at the Leeds School of Business, for monthly conversations with faculty, alumni and global leaders designed to help listeners navigate the evolving world of business.

Professor Dejun “Tony” Kong joins the season 5 premiere to discuss his research examining how we can enable people to take actions intended to benefit others. From the role of humor at the office to how to say "thank you" in a meaningful way, Kong shares findings and personal experiences that can help every professional—plus, his go-to karaoke artists!

Listen now

Episode transcript

Claire Stewart: Welcome back to a brand-new season of Leeds Business Insights. I’m Claire Stewart, and I’m thrilled to be stepping into the host chair. As the executive director of engagement, marketing, and communications here at Leeds, I spend my days at the intersection of big ideas and real-world impact.

This season, I’m bringing you behind-the-scenes with the researchers, alumni, and disruptors who are redefining the future of business. We’ll be dropping new episodes on the last Wednesday of every month, starting right now with a conversation you won’t want to miss.

Today's LBIdea is there are simple ways that we can build better relationships at work if we give our interactions a little more thought.

Our guest today is Dejun “Tony” Kong, professor of organizational leadership and information analytics at the Leeds School of Business. His research addresses how we can enable people to take actions intended to benefit others.

Thanks so much for joining us today, Tony!

Tony Kong: Thank you so much for having me, Claire.

Stewart: First, I wanted to get started by asking you about how you got your interest in studying workplace dynamics and where did that come about?

Kong: Sure! So, in college I studied management science, which is more about operations and supply chain. However, during my internship at Fortune Magazine in New York City, I became more and more interested in human behaviors. I was working on a project on cross-cultural negotiation and had a pleasure to interview multiple professors in top business schools.

They really inspired me to think about human psychology. And I initially thought, like, you know, everybody knows how to negotiate in Asia, but apparently, negotiation is a very interesting research area. So, that really triggered my curiosity and also interest in studying organizational behavior.

My research really focused on how to enable people to be more pro-social. Specifically, how can we foster individual's positive experience? How can we foster good organizational system such as leadership, HR practice, and culture? And how can we foster high trust society such as trust in strangers or trust through social technologies?

So, I found a lot of meaning in addressing these research questions. And also, as someone originally from Shanghai, China, I was fascinated by the work dynamics in the U.S. culture versus Chinese culture. For example, American employees are used to the idea of self-promotion, but self-promotion can be frowned upon or even backfire in the workplaces in China.

Stewart: Yeah. So, you study some really relatable workplace issues like how humor lands in the workplace. So, what has your research shown about being funny in the office?

Kong: Yeah. So, I started researching humor because I want to know more about humor, initially. I just tried to make myself a little funnier. So, I study, like, what is humor? What is the structure of humor and how to make jokes in the U.S. culture? So, I got fascinated by this topic and then started reading the literature and doing some empirical research.

One of the meta-analyses I did with two researchers was fascinating and we found that humor actually is really important in the workplace. It plays a huge role in various type of social interactions, such as negotiation, leadership, teamwork, and even cross-cultural interactions. It is important to people's health and wellbeing as well.

So, humor can build trust between two individuals or build high-quality relationship among people. Humor can also trigger positive emotions. So, people actually feel amused and happy. All of that can lead to a range of benefits in the workplace, such as job performance, organizational citizenship behaviors, creativity, commitment, et cetera.

Also, based on my own research—I wrote a theory paper about that—humor can also convey information about the expressor, the recipient, and also the environment. So, humor can be very informative to the person who receives humor. So, for example, humor can convey information about expressor’s confidence and inconfidence. So, in that sense, humor can elevate expressor’s status in the eye of the recipient.

Stewart: Yeah. So, you would suggest to use it in the workplace, but maybe keep in mind how to use it as a tool? What advice would you give when they're using humor in the workplace?

Kong: Yeah. So, I had an interesting debate with another colleague, another faculty member in marketing in the building. So, we had a slightly different view on this, but in the end, we actually reached consensus. So, oftentimes, I think humor is also about moderation, like, you cannot just constantly make jokes, and it can annoy people or become distracting. Humor can really build inclusion, ease tension or break down hierarchies. But also, if you use humor in aggressive way or in an inappropriate way, then it can backfire, it can, kind of, trigger exclusion and actually amplify tension among people, and potentially can create a social hierarchy. So, then initially you can be egalitarian by telling jokes with each other, but in the end, you reach very unintended consequences.

So, my argument is, you know, when we make jokes, we need to think about, what is our intent in the eyes of the recipient? Like, we should take the perspective of the audience and think ahead whether and how a joke can convey a constructed motive. And we also need to appreciate the situation and read the room, just be emotionally intelligent when we are making jokes.

Stewart: That’s great. So, you've also researched how to express gratitude at work. Can you explain why a simple thank you at work might not be enough?

Kong: Yeah, so many of us actually assume expressing gratitude is just as simple as saying thank you. And then, unfortunately, like some of the research shows, like, in the workplace, we don't say thanks enough. So, I mean, the starting point is we need to thank other people more for their contributions, their helping. So, I think it's not only for politeness, but also, kind of, a genuine appreciation for what other people have done for us.

But my own research found, like, it's not only about the frequency of gratitude expression, but also about the way we deliver these things in the workplace. So, sometimes we can write a thank-you note. Sometimes, we can actually spend time with our colleagues to show our appreciation, or even given a high five, in nonverbal communication.

As a leader, there are also other ways to show appreciation and gratitude to their people so they can actually provide more mentorship or career development opportunities or maybe some flexibility in work, like a scheduling flexibility or location flexibility.

So, all of that can show to employees that they are competent. “So, that's why, like, you know, I'm giving you a lot of flexibility. I trust you that you will do a good job with those flexibility.” And also, show some warmth, like, “I appreciate you as a teammate,” or, “I appreciate you as a member of this unit.”

So, all of that is really about intentional, like, you know, appreciation is also a social signal, like, you know, it sends the signal about, “I think you are wonderful member,” or, “You are a very competent employee.”

Stewart: So, what are some examples of ways that managers can share some appreciation in the workplace?

Kong: Yeah. So, organizations typically focus on, kind of, broad one-size-fits-all programs, so maybe give people thank you cards. But over time you can tell, like, maybe people get tired of thank-you cards and they want something, kind of, more personalized or customized. So, I think that sometimes a thank you is also a task of creativity. Like, people need to understand, like, what is the personal taste of the person that you are thanking? And also, what do they like? So, that's also about personal understanding of the person that you're thanking.

So, in our research, we argue that, when gratitude fits the person, employees feel more appreciated, safer, and are actually more willing to contribute their voice. So, we come up with 11 ways of saying thanks at work. So, some of the ways are about contribution or work. We call it agentic form of gratitude expression. So, for example, boss can appraise subordinates’ work, can make their work easier, can reward the effort, can support their subordinates’ career, also can give formal recognition to their subordinates. Another form of gratitude expression we call communal form. So, basically, it's more people-focused. These can be about appreciation through warmth, personal connections, or nonverbal gestures. So, for example, we can use warm body language, such as smile, high five, or pat on the back, or offer kind words, like a very genuine compliment or verbal thank you. You can share treats, like, you know, coffee or homemade cookies, although I don't know how to make homemade cookie. But I think that that's a great idea if someone can do that. Or give a small gift, like a book or an event ticket. If someone loves hockey, then a hockey game sounds great. Or write it down, like a thank-you note or a thoughtful email. So, it should be personalized rather than just very generic thank-you statements.

And finally, kind of, build some connections. People appreciate other people to, kind of, spending time with them. So, maybe after work, they can spend some time during the happy hours to have some drinks or just chit-chat about life.

So, all of that is basically showing the goodwill as a leader and also to show, like, people are worth their time and also worth their attention.

Stewart: Yeah, those are some great ideas. So, gratitude obviously builds strong relationships in the workplace. And you've also done some research on that. So, what does your research show is important for managers to think about when they're establishing trust in the workplace?

Kong: I think that one of the thing managers always assume, like, you know, more trust is better. So, my research actually shows, before building trust, people actually need to think about their self-esteem at work. So, if a manager gives a lot of trust toward an employee, the employee does not have really high self-esteem at work, then that trust become heavy. It can become a psychological burden. It actually disengages the person who received the trust. So, in the end, like, they will feel stressed, they will feel exhausted, and they may have, like, a work-family conflict.

So, trust is not necessarily a blessing for everyone. It can be a burden to some folks. So, I think that there are two solutions. One is building high self-esteem. at work for employees. And then once you feel like, you know, employees have high self-esteem, then give trust to that person. Rely on that person. Rely on their judgment. Delegate important tasks to them.

So, I think there are different ways to boost people's self-esteem, you know. You can give them more recognition. So, appreciation can be one way to boost people's self-esteem. You can also just give nonverbal signals, like, you know, give them subtle cues that they're wonderful and they're really valued in the workplace. And then you give them trust, which means you are willing to be vulnerable to those employees.

Stewart: Yeah. What role can empathy play in how you establish that trust?

Kong: Yeah, so I mean, one important question is how do leaders know the self-esteem level of employees? So, I mean, one way can ask the person, but it can be awkward, you know. If I ask you, like, what do you think about your self-esteem, that's just, kind of, a weird question.

So, I think empathy becomes really important for leaders. Like, you know, you empathize with a person, you notice their behaviors, you, kind of, assess how they feel about the situation or how they feel about themselves. And that requires a lot of perspective taking, emotional empathy. I don't think we emphasize that a lot in trust building process, even though we teach leaders emotional intelligence. But how to use that emotional intelligence or empathy to build stronger trust with other people? I think that that's a science, but also, for emotional intelligent leaders, they probably understand, like, it depends on the person, like, “I need to understand a person first.”

Stewart: Earlier, you were mentioning how you can, kind of, show up pro-socially. So, what do you see as some of the barriers today in workplaces when it comes to showing up pro-socially in the workplace?

Kong: Yeah. So, on my research, one of the streams is focused on how to foster individual's positive experience. Because when people feel positive, they are more energetic, they feel having more personal resources for helping other people. So, in that sense, we really need a positive experience as the starting point for individual’s pro-sociality.

So, that's my personal philosophy. So, one of the barriers I think for the modern workplaces is stress and the health concerns, because, you know, the work pace is so fast and then people feel a lot of stress. When performance pressure is really high, people feel stressed. And also, nowadays, we care more about, like, a mental health concerns, physical health concerns. So, even our school is doing a lot more for, like, how to schedule meetings and how to give people breaks for their work so they can actually recover from their work and also enjoy their work more.

So, I think one of the important barriers for us to think about in work design or workplace design is how to mitigate stress for people. Stress is not necessarily bad, but, like, oftentimes too much stress is detrimental. It can be debilitating. And also, how to help employees maintain their mental health, physical health. I'll also argue relational health; how to maintain really positive relationship that support each other and also help each other flourish in the workplace.

Stewart: So, obviously, you've done a lot of research on the workplace, but if you had to have one takeaway of one habit that you would give every professional to be more effective and inclusive in the workplace, what would that habit be?

Kong: Yeah. So, this is also tied to my own leadership journeys. I'm from a collectivist society, originally. So, one thing that we really value is, kind of, humility. Like, you know, we want to be humble to other folks. And then we want to view ourself accurately rather than in an inflated way. And also, we want to appreciate other people's strength and their contributions and open to, kind of, feedback and new ideas.

So, that's a definition of humility. And I think, you know, initially, when I came to United States, it seems like self-promotion is a thing and then people are so comfortable doing it. And then for Chinese person, it’s like, “Oh, I don't know how to promote myself.” So, over time, I have to learn, like, what does a self-promotion mean? Like, how to do it effectively? Because it is a necessary professional skill in the U.S. But now, I see, like, U.S. culture actually emphasize humility because we want to learn from each other, appreciate each other, and also view ourself more accurately. So, that self-awareness, self-insights are important for our own development.

So, I think one habit I would recommend every professional to have is being humble and humility expression. Like, you know, express your humility. Listen to other people. Appreciate other people's strength and contribution. Of course, everybody has weakness, but let's take a look at other people's bright side, like, you know, what they can do for the organization and then for other folks.

So, that will be my suggestion. I'm trying to practice that myself in my leadership position.

Stewart: Yeah, that's great. So, you've done a lot of research and we're definitely not saying you need to hop on any research right now, but are there any topics that you are really interested in right now, that you are interested in pursuing next for your research?

Kong: Yeah, so there's one thing that I'm super passionate. And also, thanks to my doctoral students because they're passionate about this topic as well. So, I want to do more about human sustainability. So, this is… I mean, the CU ��ý��, the entire campus will care about sustainability, not only in terms of environment sustainability, but also societal sustainability system, and also human.

To me, I really want to think about how human sustainability affects organizational sustainability or system sustainability or how environmental sustainability influence human sustainability. So, I think all of that actually are related to each other. When I say human sustainability, I'm more thinking about mental health, resilience, adaptability, because our environment is changing constantly and that we really need to learn how to adapt it to the environment.

And this is really personal to me because I moved from a different culture to U.S. I mean, culturally, they're so different, almost complete opposite. So, I really have to adapt myself to a new culture. And I understand American people and also trying to integrate my Chinese values and also American values.

And that itself is a creativity. So, you have to be adaptive and creative and figure out, like, what is the best solution for yourself, so you can function optimally in the U.S. society. Also, it's about mental health, like, you know, how to balance my work life and a personal life. I love my work. I see it as calling, but sometimes I feel like, am I working too hard? Because when I go to beach, like, I probably, like, read a book instead of, like, you know, just relax over there. So, I think that that's also important for myself, for my own human sustainability, because work life is a long journey. So, like, I need to, kind of, be careful not to burn myself early in my career.

Stewart: Absolutely. That's great. So, before you go, we do have to ask you a little aspect of your background that we haven't discussed yet. You are a trained opera singer. But then also, you know, you talk a little bit about work life balance and stress, and we know you're also a karaoke aficionado. So, we want to know what your favorite opera is and what your favorite go-to karaoke song is.

Kong: So, I would not say, like, I'm super good opera singer, but, like, when I was a kid, I was classically trained. Basically, I love music, like, when I hear some music, like, a few times later, I can already sing it or, like, get the rough version of it already.

So, my parents recognized, like, whoa, there's a talent there. So, that's why, like, I started get training because I did not notice myself. But, like, I can mimic sounds quickly, I can realize the tone or the rhythm quickly. So, that, to me, opened a new world, because after a few years training, I start performing overseas, not only in Shanghai, pretty much every theater in Shanghai I already, kind of, performed. Also went to studios in Shanghai, but also performed in Japan and South Korea.

So, that experience really, kind of, opened my mind about other parts of the world. I just realized, you know, Chinese culture is very different from Korean culture and Japanese culture. That make me appreciate, you know, human differences and also understand the cultural differences. So, even though it's a music training, but in the end become, like, a cultural training because, you know, you travel to different parts of the world. But for me, singing is also a stress relief strategy for me. So, that's why I have a karaoke machine at home. When I feel stressed about my work, then I will, okay, stop working and then just go to karaoke and then sing my… I love Calum Scott songs. I even love a Rihanna song. I also love, like, a Lady Gaga song. So, all of that I sing.

Stewart: Oh, yeah.

Kong: I also sing Broadway show songs. Like, I love Broadway shows, so I go to Denver Performing Arts Center regularly, and I watch Broadway shows. So, recently, I just watched the “Phantom of the Opera.” I love that musical and the Broadway show, “Lion King.” So, that part, I feel it's very liberating to me because you get so much inspiration from the Broadway show musical pieces. And also, it makes you creative. So, that's why I encourage all the kids to learn music because it gives you self-discipline. It opens your worldview. And also, it gives you different kinds of experience.

Stewart: That's awesome. Well, thank you so much for joining us today, Tony. I think there's tons of people that can have a lot of great takeaways from this conversation. And we appreciate you sharing your expertise.

Kong: All right. Thank you so much for having me again.

Stewart: Thank you again for listening to Leeds Business Insights. Make sure you're one of the first to hear every episode by subscribing to the show wherever you get your podcasts. The Leeds Business Insights Podcast is a production of the Leeds School of Business and produced by University FM. We'll see you next time.

Professor of Organizational Leadership and Information Analytics Dejun “Tony” Kong offers insights into how we can be better versions of ourselves at work.

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Leeds Business Insights Podcast: Balancing Humor, Gratitude and Appreciation at Work with Tony Kong

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