Modesty is not a solo sport
Top sculpture: "Modesty" by Giosu猫 Argenti (1866)
If it doesn鈥檛 include social interaction, norms and a desire not to offend, it鈥檚 not modesty, CU 抖阴传媒在线 philosopher Derick Hughes argues
When it comes to definition, 鈥渕odesty鈥 doesn鈥檛 seem all that modest.
Consider that Webster鈥檚 Dictionary offers nine definitions of the word, with a profusion of meanings. Modesty can denote everything from modesty in dress and appearance to the estimation or presentation of one鈥檚 abilities, the size of a house, reserve and prudishness.
Derick Hughes, a lecturer in philosophy at the 抖阴传媒在线 who specializes in moral psychology and ethics, says the concept of modesty is less concrete than perceived virtues.

Derick Hughes, a CU 抖阴传媒在线 lecturer in philosophy, argues that the concept of modesty is less concrete than perceived virtues.
鈥淣o one really thinks that compassion, honesty or generosity are elusive traits. We don鈥檛 find them puzzling in any way,鈥 he says. 鈥淏ut modesty and humility are much more elusive. There are so many ways to describe and interpret them, which makes them valuable.鈥
In his paper, 鈥淢odesty鈥檚 Ino铿ensive Self-Presentation,鈥 published in the journal , Hughes offers an interpersonal view of modesty 鈥渢hat requires an emotional disposition sensitive to causing others offense based upon one鈥檚 self-presentation.鈥
Following the lead of the 19th- and early-20th-century psychologist and philosopher William James, Hughes makes the case that self-contained modesty isn鈥檛 really modesty at all. It requires social interaction.
鈥淢odesty cannot be purely internal and private,鈥 he says. 鈥淚t has to be something more deeply social and emotional. 鈥 There has to be a shared sense that some content, action or behavior could provoke offense鈥 to another person.
For example, a person may minimize his or her talents, but if it鈥檚 not expressed somehow to at least one other person, that鈥檚 not quite modesty. 鈥淚noffensive self-presentation,鈥 whether in dress, behavior, estimation of one鈥檚 talents or something else, is about gauging how others will receive and perceive one鈥檚 actions.
Modesty depends on norms and therefore can vary widely within different cultures, religions, families, friendships and situations, Hughes argues.
For example, wearing flip-flops, shorts and no shirt to a job interview violates norms and could cause offense (not to mention the candidate being dismissed as unfit), as could boasting about one鈥檚 wealth in the presence of people of more鈥攁hem鈥攎odest means, or a boxer standing over a vanquished foe and yelling about his feat.
Or consider worship ceremonies. In some traditions, silence is the norm, whereas in others, exuberant shouting, clapping and singing is expected.
Hughes observes that even seemingly similar circumstances can influence what鈥檚 perceived as modest.
鈥淲hen you talk about two people sharing the same goal or directly competing to win a competition, that seems to be a case where you would temper your attitude and responses toward the other person,鈥 he says.
Modesty is in the eye of the beholder
鈥淣o one really thinks that compassion, honesty or generosity are elusive traits. We don鈥檛 find them puzzling in any way. But modesty and humility are much more elusive. There are so many ways to describe and interpret them."
On the other hand, when not in an adversarial or competitive situation, 鈥渢here is more room to poke and prod other people to keep at it, to do better. If I鈥檓 a successful author, and I know you are writing a book, I might not hold back because I want to cultivate your interest or keep [you] pursuing your goal,鈥 Hughes says.
And modesty is often in the eye of the beholder. Russian mathematician Gregori Perelman declined the $1 million Clay Millennium Prize in 2010 and has kept himself in virtual seclusion ever since. He explained that 鈥渋f the proof is correct, then no other recognition is needed,鈥 noted that mathematics depends on collaboration, and declared, 鈥淚鈥檓 not interested in money or fame; I don鈥檛 want to be on display like an animal in a zoo.鈥
While many perceived his refusal as modesty, some thought he was engaged in 鈥渁rrogant humility鈥 and was 鈥渂eing braggadocious by declining participation,鈥 Hughes says.
Norms are critical to perceptions of modesty, he notes. For example, one study found that Canadians consider concealing one鈥檚 positive contributions to society to be dishonest, whereas Chinese people did not. 鈥淐hinese adults rated deception in such situations positively while rating truth-telling in the same situations negatively,鈥 according to the . 鈥淭hese cross-cultural differences appear to reflect differential emphases on the virtue of modesty in the two cultures.鈥
Immodesty even can be considered virtuous in some situations. For example, women violated norms of modesty when some began driving in Saudi Arabia in contravention of societal rules and expectations. That societal 鈥渋mmodesty鈥 ultimately led to women being extended the right to drive.
Though generally thought of as a virtue, modesty may not be so virtuous in the face of 鈥減roblematic norms,鈥 Hughes says.
To be truly modest, modesty requires social interaction, the acceptance of norms and 鈥渁 disposition to avoid offending others,鈥 Hughes argues.
That definition, he concludes, can account for 鈥渢he variety of modesty norms concerning one鈥檚 merits and achievements, personal objects and traditional modesty norms in dress and self-presentation.鈥
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